Finally-A personal relationship book for both women and men.
Yes, men can now understand romance!
The principles and terminology in Earn It apply whether you are single and looking for the relationship you deserve, are in a healthy relationship and want to continue maintaining its productivity, or your relationship has lost some of its initial attraction and needs to increase its value to both parties. Our society teaches us that true love is unconditional-that it will exist regardless of any conditions. Our society also teaches us that marriage is work. Well, which is it? Is love unconditional or do we have to work at it? This relationship book is very different from others in that it challenges the notion of unconditional love. You do not have to love somebody regardless of how they treat you. Nor does somebody have to love you regardless of what you do or don’t do to them. This book will prove that love is earned logically, physically, and emotionally. Love does have conditions-conditions that you can influence. In fact, you influence the condtions whether you are doing it intentionally or not. Realizing this truly empowers you to demonstrate behaviors to earn even more love. You cannot force your partner to change but you can reward them for doing so. You can only control yourself. You are allowed to receive the return on investment after you invest in your partner. Not only can you earn more love, but it is maximized when you re-earn it. You can also un-earn it.
Romantic relationships are now put in terms both women and men understand. Business principles and terminology aren’t romantic, but they are pragmatic, functional, and proven. They can provide an excellent foundation on which to build the relationship you both truly desire and deserve. View your partner as your one and only client, with a lifetime of rewards if you adequately take care of his or her needs. Perceive your mate as your sole partner in your organization, your family. This partnership can yield priceless dividends as you watch your stock in each other increase in value.
Just as a scale is used to measure the value of gold or other valuables, it can represent the equality necessary in healthy relationships. When you add value by investing in one side of the scale, you will eventually be rewarded by a return on investment on the other side of the scale. If not, you may eventually remove some of the investment to achieve the sense of balance required in the universe. You may give more to receive more, or you may give less when you receive less. WARNING: Your partner also has these same options.
- Love is an investment from which you are allowed to receive a fair and reasonable return on investment—no more, no less. When you demonstrate the behaviors necessary to earn the rewards, you empower yourself.
- Once you demonstrate the necessary behaviors, you will receive a return on your investment. You will become more valuable to your partner. Their positive reinforcement will encourage you to reinvest in them. You empower your partner.
- The quality of the reward should be directly related to the quality of the investment. If you give less, you are allowed to receive less in return. The more you give, the more you are permitted to receive. You empower your partnership.
Some famous authors hint at this empowering attitude, but we’ll build on it. As Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote in her book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage:
“If you want this marriage bad enough–EARN IT.”
John Gray hints at this in “How to Get What You Want, and Want What You Have,” when he states:
“It’s misleading to encourage women to give unconditionally to their partners. When they resent not getting back what they need, then, they feel guilty for feeling that way. People will experience resentment if they give more than they are getting back. If we don’t have permission to feel this way, we don’t feel the need to stop giving and start getting. Certainly a little unconditional love is fine, but it really is still conditional. You can give for a while without getting back, as long as eventually, you know you’ll have your turn and it will come back to you. This return should not be years later, otherwise you’ll wake up one morning completely empty, resentful, and closed, and you’ll have nothing left to give.”
Men and women may indeed be from different planets, but we do share a similar language-that of business. The parallels are many. If men are taking too long to understand love on feminine, more emotional Venus, having women understand love on masculine, more logical Mars, both parties will benefit by these proven tools used to increase productive communication and implement mutually beneficial plans of action. You and your partner can benefit from this shared perspective that has many proven rewards.
Many men may not be romantic, but most are money motivated. Men that “just don’t get it” when it comes to romance, will get this. These terms apply at home with your personal partner even more than at work with your professional partners: investment, return on investment, updating your customer files, selling and re-selling, options, costs and benefits, goals, evaluations, supply and demand, meeting the customer’s needs, bankruptcy, assets and liabilities, competition, and exclusivity. You will use the same terminology and principles, you will simply adjust your perspective.
Do you ever feel taken for granted? Would you like to be appreciated? The ability to earn love can be learned. Love is best when shared. Giving a copy of this book to those you love is yet another way to show that you are willing to earn it. It will also provide them tools to treat you the way you deserve-allow them to earn it. Buy the book for you and give it to your partner.
IF DR. PHIL MARRIED SUZE ORMAN, THEIR BABY COULD BE…
Earn It: Empower Yourself for Love